28 May 2015 = Today

Today: Today is a day that I have written back my thoughts after some null time.  Today is a day I feel useless, tired and uninspired.  Today I cannot even think of what I would do tomorrow.  I start to question myself again if this is what I really  want to do in life.  If this is what I am supposed to do in life.  

10 weeks from now a new person in my life would be coming in the form of a new child.  After 3 beautiful boys I get to wonder if I am really setting a good example for them.  Am I someone they would like to mimic and be their role model.  I even feel like I don't think I want to be someone I want to be myself.  So how do I fix this? How do I get out of this predicament that I have put myself in.  How do I inspire myself beyond going back to the uninspiring hole that I am in right now?

17 May 2015 - Today / Tommorrow

Today: I got to jog today, the usual distance that I averagely do and it was all good.  I was able to join my kids for breakfast and buy them lunchout.  And now currently I am in NAIA Terminal 3 for my flight out to Singapore, which is a transit destination before I fly out to Bangalore.  I love travelling as this is something that I never really got to experience when I was young.  I would get envious of the stories of my classmates that were able to trave to different parts of the world.  Well because their parents can.  I would think that it was good that I had this experience early in my life because now I would strive and do things to make sure that my family gets to experience travelling around.

I have always wondered on the possiblity of migrating to a different country.  I know that we definitely are able to transition and become a citizen of a different country altogether.  My experience with travel and the longing that my family has to learn and to go to differnt places would be easy for us to move and go around.  

Tommorrow: Four years from now in Singapore I have been finally given the go signal to move my whole family as it is most logical.  I have proven myself that I can complement and lead the strategic accounts team and they would like me to be focused on doing this from Singapore as it is most logical.  I have been promoted twice already because of the successful initaitves that I have introduced and now the company has acknowledged that I can bring more to make the whole company better.

16 May 2015 - Today / Tommorrow

Today:  I woke up not being able to commit to what I was supposed to do today.  I had targetted to do 16K run but the issue was that I was too engrossed with looking for a GPS watch the night prior that I slept late and I actually only had almost 3 hours of sleep because my shoulder was really bugging me.  I am hoping that these next days I would be able to rest my shoulder and make sure that I apply less stress to it and make sure that I commit to my gym days everyday.  I know that there would be some days of drinking but I have to discipline myself on doing what I am supposed to do.

The good part is that I was able to bring my kids to swim class and I was able to sort of re-assure them that they have a dad that would always take care of them and do his part for them.  I do hope that they get to miss me as I know I would miss them and my wife.

Tommorrow: Fifteen years from now I expect that my sons would either have partners or would already be ready to get married.  Or even yet it is also possible that they would have children.  I would hope that I have taught them enough to be committed to their family, their partners and their children.  I would be happy to guide them and still teach them to move forward to the right path.

15 May 2015 - Today / Tommorrow

Today:  I am a person who is so undisciplined when it comes to spending.  I am concious everytime I spend and I know when I am loosing money.  I also know when I get to spend on things which are not practical and I always feel the urge to spend on things of my wants and not of my needs.  This is actually a mortal sin given that I know that I am advocating to my sons that they should save and invest and that money is not something that I can easily earn.  The thing is I am this way eversince.  Probably because of the way I was brought up and how I was disciplined.    My parents had given me what I always wanted and in that I have that feeling that I can get whatever I want even if it is through borrowed money.

And the thing that made this worse is that I am given a credit card. It was so hard for me to understand how this evil works and until now I still am indebted to this evil.  I still get to use it freely and sometimes forget that I eventually am growing my debt and enabling my spending.

Tommorrow: Three months from now I would have worked on that concious effort to stop using my credit card unless it is an official trip or on official business.  All other expense I would only spend and use up if I have the extra cash and if it is a need.  I would have mastered some of the traits of being an economical person.  I would be doing my best to be very disciplined in this undertaking until such time that all my credit card debts are paid off.

14 May 2015 - Today / Tommorrow

Today: Today I tried the Regus facility in UN Times Plaza.  I wanted to see if I can survive and be productive as mobile worker.  It seems that most of my work can be done through an Ipad but it seems it lacks the integration unless I have all my files migrated in the cloud.  Currently it seems that microsoft lacks the full integration with its Onedrive as it has a onedrive personal and onedrive for business.  The Microsoft Outlook App in Ipad still points to the onedrive application which is a bummer because I have my files uploaded in Onedrive for Business.  Also I have to question how fast I can retrieve these files from the cloud access.  Eventually I hope this would improve.

Tommorrow: Six months from now I would have be mastering a new microsoft tool as it has launched Windows 10 by then.  It would be good that I can fully sync my sharepoint, outlook, onedrive, office and other microsoft tools which are all cloud based and hopefully I would also have full integration with Salesforce.  I see that Trello is a good tool for tracking which I use for kanban.  Unless MS comes out with something similar.  I expect that I would still continue using this tool.

13 May 2015 - Today / Tommorrow

Today:  The early bird gets the worm, that is the discipline that I am getting from getting to wake up before my alarm everyday. This is the discipline that I hope to continue even at my old age.  We have our ancestors that would wake up in the wee hours of the morning and develop that everyday steps that made them successful.  This is something that  I am hoping I can replicate and make sure that I also encourage my kids to do the same.  Bit by bit I get to improve on my productivity because of this.

I did not drink coffee today.  I would like to see if I can break my dependency to this drink as I feel that my chest pain are being caused by this.  I don't want to have my days start thinking that I would be falling asleep the whole day just because I did not drink coffee.  It is a matter of mindsetting and conditioning my body to accept waking up early and working throughout the whole day. 

What I need to focus now is how to get rested properly.  I believe that this is something that I lack for these past days.  My arm has been aching more than usual and I am afraid that this would be something that would trouble me in the near future.  I just have the consolation that my left arm had healed on its own.  The thing is I had some theraphy on this arm as compared to my right arm.  Hopefully I would still get healed.

Tommorrow:  Thirty years from now I would be waking at 4AM everyday to tend to my farm and my everyday works.  I see that my children and my grandchildren are happy joining me in the tasks within the farm that they have volunteered to do.  My boys are as successfult as me as they grew up knowing the successes that their father had gone through.  They got to see the failures that I went through and how I had surpassed these problems. 

12 May 2015 - Today/Tommorrow

Today:  I got to jog today and faster than my usual pace.  I could feel that fire building up in my belly and that I feel so inspired to do things.  Building up that fire is not an easy thing to do as there is that big possiblity that I just get bored and undisciplined enough and loose my way.  This has been the case in the past and it is important that I do not do the same mistake again for the future.  I have already proven that it is possible to be healthier and I am going towards that direction.  The only question now is with what momentum am I going to pursue that path.

Tommorrow:  A year from now I have gone down to a lesser weight of 200 lbs from my current 229 pounds.  This would allow me to target another 20 pounds for the succeeding year and continue my goal of being healthier.  This would tell me that from the day I wrote this entry until the days moving forward. I have pushed through my goal and that I am a better and healthier person for myself and for my family.

11 May 2015 - Today / Tommorrow

Today:  I dread the walks to and from the parking area, specially when I am with my family.  It reminds me of how I have not really prepared myself for this present.  That I had lacked the foresight to assure that my family has a better present.  Currently my right eye hurts for whatsoever reason and my right shoulder still is giving me trouble.  The million that Pacquiao has, enables him to get that rotator cuff fixed as soon as he needs it.  I would have to bear the pain day to day, until this fixes itself or until this is unbearable.  

Don't get me wrong, its not that I am not thankful for what I have.  But let me do this so that I will be able to look at what I have right now and what I look forward to in the future.  Today is not the present that I look forward to forever.  I know that with will power and determination, I am able to change the present that I have to the future that I deserve.

3 Years From Now:  I have assured that I am zero debt and that I have a considerable investment with a couple of portfolios.  I am able to purchase a permanent home which would be considered my only debt and look forward to change the car that I drive which is still an option as it would eat away from my current investments. I smile as I read back to this entry as I know then as I realize now that these options enable me to be a more happy and content person.

The Tuesday After

I am writing this post the Tuesday after Pope Francis has just concluded his Papal Visit to the Philippines.  I had seen him three times during his visit but it had seemed that I was chasing him all over given that I had documented much of the activities around his visit, more than the usual person would.  A colleague of mine had actually commented if "I had finished chasing the Pope around" which was what most people might have observerved with what I had done.  This would probably my way of manifesting the fact that I still had some struggles with my Faith and that I was hoping to get some clarity once I get to "encounter" the Pope.

Two days ago, I find out that my wife is pregnant with our third child.  We never really expected going beyond our second given that we were already comfortable with the setup we have.  Everytime someone would ask me if we would still try for a third child (hoping that it would be a girl this time), I would always say that we are not trying but if we are blessed with one, then we are blessed.  And so with all the things that happend and is happening, it seems that this is a confirmation that I am truly blessed and I have something to look forward to.  Something to strive hard for and an additional person for me to be passionate about.  

I do hope that the Tuesday after would be a good start for the tommorrows that I would be waking up to.